I hated my job.

I complained about work. Complained about my life. Complained about my income. I wanted my own business. Or at least, I said I wanted my own business.

Finally one day, a close friend took me aside, looked me in the eye and said, “Jack, you get what you want.”

That angered me. I did not want the life I had. But I couldn’t forget his words or the way he looked me right in the eye. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right.

You get what you want.

And I had what I wanted. I just was just deceiving myself about wanting it.

Yeah, sure. It would be nice to have my own business, to be my own boss, to make my own way.

The truth?

I really liked the regular, predictable if insufficient paycheck.

I liked that my wife didn’t nag me all the time about working too many hours.

I liked that having a “regular job just like her dad” kept her off my back.

I wanted her off my back. I really wanted her off my back.

I wanted to not deal with her nagging, her incessant worry, her debilitating fear.

I wanted to not confront her about her own immaturity.

So, I took the coward’s way out.

I got a job I hated, and complained about it for three years.

The day Eddie looked me in the eye and said "You get what you want" was the day I began to stop deceiving myself.

Less than a month later, I quit my corporate gig, and started a software company. I grew it to several hundred customers around the country over the next three years before I sold out to a competitor.

It took a long time to uncover all the lies I lived.

For all I know, I am still living lies.

But every time I spot one, I am ruthless with it. I dig it out by the roots, burn it down to ashes and poison its roots. I want nothing to do with self-deception.

Yes, it’s painful. But it hurts the same way the day after deadlift day hurts. I know it is making me stronger.

And I want to get stronger.

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